Wednesday, February 15, 2012

My morning with the Arachnid

This morning, after some core exercises and bird-watching with
Faraday, I headed to the bathroom to prepare myself for the day.

While the shower heated up, I tried to not think about my meeting later that day. I chatted with and filled the sink for Muffin. Drinking with his left paw from the sink is one of his favorite things.

Soon after stepping into the luxuriously-warm shower, just about to relax, a black, hairy, 50-cent-piece-sized spider scurried out from under the curtain at my feet. I screamed in horror and disgust (poor neighbors) and flew out of the tub.

Proceeding to battle with the arachnid, I shoved the curtain out of the tub so he couldn't hide, and doused him with water, channeling him toward the drain.

HOWEVER, my drain is partially clogged. It drains verrry slowly...so he just
swam around in the pool by it.

I sprayed him with toilet bowl cleaner...but it's almost out, so it just fizzled and foamed.

At a loss, I dumped mouthwash in there to try to poison him or something (I wasn't thinking that clearly). (I need better household chemicals.)

THAT MINTY-FRESH MONSTER KEPT SWIMMING.

Finally, the shower drained enough that he partially washed down...

BUT HE CRAWLED BACK UP THE SPOUT.

I finally smashed his evil brains over and over and over with the empty toilet bowl cleaner bottle (poor neighbors).

Though he was already in pieces, I wrapped myself in a towel to get the bleach from the kitchen to poison him further.

My lab mates should be grateful that I didn't run this morning, because I refused to shower with the corpse in a mouthwash-scented, bleachy pool of water.

I should probably fix my shower drain.

"Next time, just try a shoe."~Mom

Where was Muffin, you ask? My big, strong cat? Scared by my screeching and hiding in the living room.

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Though stressed (still in grad school and still unemployed), I'm still alive.

1 comment:

Sarah @ Doormouse Doodles said...

Hahaha I'm sorry it was so traumatic, but your retelling is hysterical! I'm just picturing happy-go-lucky music in the background a la romantic comedies as you're trying to beat the everliving crap out of this spider. Cut to clips of your neighbors looking up at their ceiling wondering what's going on as you try method after unsuccessful method to kill it and you've got movie making gold!
XD